And so I was told. "It is incompetent to ask for help to bring up your child. Yes it is. Your bub belongs with you . Lest you expect anyone to come to lend a helping hand. Do not ask for it. " Yes. Directly or indirectly, so I was told.
And so I never did. And then began parenting. A tough lesson. A teary won, facing the absolute unknown. Been worn down, driven to the extreme. Yet , today is beautiful for I have risen like the phoenix. The bond so strong that my bub and me have forged. I have done it right, I have done it good. Sometimes, I leave myself wondering- who is the child, who is the adult? Like today when I was unwell and he sat next to me singing a lullaby that I sing to him every night. Like the days when I tell him how over-drawn I am and he should calm down for me and he says "yes,mom. I understand". My son. I have learnt to be a mother. That says it all and that is all I have to say.
Tables have turned. I walk away from the stage. I have done my job and am settling into the audience. Alas, the play is different, the script is different. Its all wrong. This is not what I came to watch, this is not what I was told. This is not about selfless love, this is not about learning to give anymore. It is about time, comfort,money and energy. It is not parenting anymore. It is about Ma-renting* or Pa-renting*. The moment the bub is born, a plethora of care givers appear on the stage - dancing, singing, caring and comforting. The "biological" mother and "father" make cameo appearances. 'Mom' and 'dad' are words from the a dictionary sans any depth,sans emotion.
Where are the heart breaking, mind boggling scenes? What about peaking anxiety about post vaccination fevers? What about having to forgo toilet, bath, sleep and food with no second thought? What about screaming the house down at the point of no return? What about crying and laughing at the same time at the first step, at the first word, at the first smile? What about having to drag oneself out of bed no matter how unwell one is, for that cuddle and lullaby? What about finally realizing that it all falls together into place, instead of falling apart? What about doing it all with no idea of what one is doing?
what about the pride when a stranger finally says " hey he's one of a kind, you have done a great job"?
Sadly, the new script fails to excite. The roles are pre-determined. The cast seems too comfortable. There is no drama what so ever. And to this act, I fail to give a standing ovation. I had expected something breath taking from my criticizers, and today they have fallen flat on their face. **
* Ma-renting /Pa-renting - Having a mother/father /an adult stay in with one's family for bringing up one's child. This is a popular practice in the Indian Subcontinent where grandparents are the primary care givers to a child, rather than the child's parents. This is generally done free of charge and inherently considered by the grand parents's as their duty.
** This post is dedicated to all the girls who are mothers in the truest sense of the word. This is dedicated only to those girls who have done parenting alone (with their partner of course), without any extra renting.
And so I never did. And then began parenting. A tough lesson. A teary won, facing the absolute unknown. Been worn down, driven to the extreme. Yet , today is beautiful for I have risen like the phoenix. The bond so strong that my bub and me have forged. I have done it right, I have done it good. Sometimes, I leave myself wondering- who is the child, who is the adult? Like today when I was unwell and he sat next to me singing a lullaby that I sing to him every night. Like the days when I tell him how over-drawn I am and he should calm down for me and he says "yes,mom. I understand". My son. I have learnt to be a mother. That says it all and that is all I have to say.
Tables have turned. I walk away from the stage. I have done my job and am settling into the audience. Alas, the play is different, the script is different. Its all wrong. This is not what I came to watch, this is not what I was told. This is not about selfless love, this is not about learning to give anymore. It is about time, comfort,money and energy. It is not parenting anymore. It is about Ma-renting* or Pa-renting*. The moment the bub is born, a plethora of care givers appear on the stage - dancing, singing, caring and comforting. The "biological" mother and "father" make cameo appearances. 'Mom' and 'dad' are words from the a dictionary sans any depth,sans emotion.
Where are the heart breaking, mind boggling scenes? What about peaking anxiety about post vaccination fevers? What about having to forgo toilet, bath, sleep and food with no second thought? What about screaming the house down at the point of no return? What about crying and laughing at the same time at the first step, at the first word, at the first smile? What about having to drag oneself out of bed no matter how unwell one is, for that cuddle and lullaby? What about finally realizing that it all falls together into place, instead of falling apart? What about doing it all with no idea of what one is doing?
what about the pride when a stranger finally says " hey he's one of a kind, you have done a great job"?
Sadly, the new script fails to excite. The roles are pre-determined. The cast seems too comfortable. There is no drama what so ever. And to this act, I fail to give a standing ovation. I had expected something breath taking from my criticizers, and today they have fallen flat on their face. **
* Ma-renting /Pa-renting - Having a mother/father /an adult stay in with one's family for bringing up one's child. This is a popular practice in the Indian Subcontinent where grandparents are the primary care givers to a child, rather than the child's parents. This is generally done free of charge and inherently considered by the grand parents's as their duty.
** This post is dedicated to all the girls who are mothers in the truest sense of the word. This is dedicated only to those girls who have done parenting alone (with their partner of course), without any extra renting.
